A letter to myself

So how have you been doing?

The last time you sent me a letter it was covered with a red liquid.

Maybe you tried to color the letter and didn’t quite work.

Well it smelled like metal. I didn’t know they made ink with the smell of metal.

I seemed like blood, but I’m sure I know you well enough to know you didn’t do anything stupid.

Well, I’ve been doing all right. It’s been 2 years since you didn’t write me back.

You seemed quite depressed and with some weird ideas. I don’t quite understand. But I’ll try to understand.

You said people despised you? I don’t believe that. Everyone that knows you likes you! So don’t really think about that.

You said people didn’t accept you? Well I do! I know you. So ignore it.

You said I don’t know anything because I’m normal? I may be normal. But inside I’m so not normal. And you know that. It’s not my fault that society is all wrong. I myself hate this society. I think we would be better off dead. But if we die, who will point out the rights and wrongs of society?

You know what? I don’t love you. In fact I hate you. But I love you at the same time. Because you are now a part of me. So I am happy I didn’t lose you.

A part of me believes it was not blood on that letter.

I believe you are stronger than that.

Your dear friend:
Ume