I'm so sick

A serio, estou tão farta de tudo.
Dos enganos, dos olhares, das bocas, das palavras, da voz, dos objectos, dos tectos, dos textos, das historias, de ti, de mim, de vocês, dos acentos, dos pontos, das mentiras, DE TUDO.
Apetece-me desaparecer, A SERIO. Estou tão farta! E cansada!
Quero tanto ajudar-te, mas é impossível se tu não me ouves e finges que vai tudo acabar em breve! Fogo, deixa-me dar-te a mão e puxar-te para o meu lado! Eu sei que não achas correcto, mas é assim! Tu também estas cansada, e acabas por não fazer nada para não ficares mais assim! Cansas-me! Mas tens sorte, porque eu aguento. Porque sou mais forte do que muita gente. Mas estou a ficar farta de não ser ouvida. Apesar de repetir as minhas palavras varias vezes, acabas por ignorar. Se calhar é para isso que sirvo, SER IGNORADA. Ouve-me, porque eu sei que as palavras que me saem pelos lábios são verdadeiras e mais sábias que tu pensas. A serio, Ouve-me, e tenta compreender. E tenta fazer o que te digo. Não sigas os meus passos, mas segue as minhas palavras, pois apenas elas estão certas na minha vida.
Mas continuo cansada e farta. Vejo-te infeliz, e nada posso fazer. Podia contar-te historias de encantar, e fazer-te adormecer nos meus abraços, mas de que me serviria isso? De nada, de nada. E tu terias pesadelos mil ao meu lado.e eu nada poderia fazer. E eu nada poderia fazer. Não me esqueças, pois muito depois de eu ter desaparecido, continuarei ao teu lado. De mão dada, a passear pelas ruelas ingratas e sujas de algum lugar inóspito.
Por favor, não fiques assim. Estou disposta a vender a minha alma e corpo para que fiques bem, por isso não fiques mal... Por favor... Eu... Eu sei o que sou, desprezível vampiro psíquico que não me dou conta que habito.
Ora, não interessa. Não vou ficar aqui muito mais tempo.

Oh my, how you always made my day.
I bet you don't know, of course you don't.
But your music really did save my soul. And god, how I thank you.
It was the first thing I really loved and cherish.
God I loved it. And still do.
Thank you for showing me the way.
I know it sounds stupid, but it really did help me trough rough times.
And now here I am, changed by you guys. For ever thanked,
if only I could do something for you guys, oh well.
All I can do is write. Isn't that all I can ever do?
I still remember the first note I heard from your music. It sounded so much like a revolution. And I liked it.
I had to hear more, more.
And in a time where no one knew you guys, it was hard.
No one really wanted to get near me. Afraid I was contagious.
And then you became all famous. I was happy, so happy.
But then came all the whores and fags, dressed like you. Like a new religion.
I knew they didn't like your music, they where just there because it was fashion.
But you still stood up to your music, and kept singing like nothing really mattered.
I loved seeing that.
And now here we are, me, a punk/metal freak, and you guys, babies and all.
Thank you, so much. For helping me become who I really was. No matter what.

Misery Loves Company

It's not the time
It's not the place
I'm just another pretty face
So don't come any closer
You're not the first
You're not the last
How many more?
Don't even ask
You're one more dead composer

Do I need you?
Yes and no
Do I want you?
Maybe so
You're getting warm
You're getting warm
You're getting warmer oh
Did you plan this all along
Did you care if it was wrong
Who's getting warmer now
That I'm gone

Misery loves company
And company loves more
More loves everybody else
But hell is others

I'm not for you
You're not for me
I'll kill you first
You wait and see
You devil undercover
You're not a prince
You're not a friend
You're just a child
And in the end
You're one more selfish lover

Do I need you?
Yes and no
Do I want you?
Maybe so
You're getting warm
You're getting warm
You're getting warmer oh
Did you plan this all along
Did you care if it was wrong
Who's getting warmer now
That I'm gone

Misery loves company
And company loves more
More loves everybody else
But hell is others

You're so easy to read
But the book is boring me
You're so easy to read
But the book is boring me
You're so easy to read
But the book is boring
Boring boring boring boring
Boring boring me

Pray for me
If you want to
Pray for me
If you care
Pray for me
If you want to
Pray for me
If you dare
Pray for me
If you want to
Pray for me
If you care
Pray for me
If you want to
Pray for me you fucker
If you fucking dare

Misery loves company
And company loves more
More loves everybody else
But hell is others

Left right.

Então?
Tudo bem?
Não?
Porque?
Porque me repito?
Não sei?
Pois não.
Até quando o meu porte altivo e jovem se inclinar para um vazio desconhecido
eu vou-me perguntar,
Onde estás tu?
Onde queres estar?
O que faço aqui?
O que faço eu?
Sou uma mera observadora.
De tudo o que outrora fora belo.
E agora ficou completamente coberto de verde morto,
Como os teus olhos.
Se calhar estou enganada,
E tu ainda vives
E eu ainda luto pela vida que outrem me tirou.
Ou talvez eu seja mais um zombie que caminha parado.
Que corre deitado.
Cheio de ilusões,
daquilo que outrora foi,
e que como o seu reflexo turvo na superfície de um lago abandonado,
já não come, já não se mexe.
Pura sanguessuga do passado,
remexe comigo e deixa-me aqui,
deitada e com ilusões de campos férteis e verdejantes.
Oh mas que sina a minha, quanto mais me esforço, mas caio e me vejo a curvar perante o que tu consegues e eu não.
Já não sou capaz, já devia ter percebido isso.
Os erros que cometi não me perdoaram.
Nem o tempo curou as feridas, nem tu as viste a sangrar.
Ignoraste a criança que te pedia ajuda.
Viste o meu coração,
e na confusão que viste, decidiste que ias aproveitar.
Para me esquartejar. E fazer gritar em completo, e pleno silencio.
Shhh, ainda ouves o mar?
Pois... Eu já não.

One Wish

And to think I was once important,
Oh how important! How important could I ever be!
No don't even try
And to be honest
You were just another one
Because I'm trapped in two holes.
One of them is secure, but will cost me a lot.
The other is falling apart but costs me nothing.
Who will save me?
Who?
Is it you?
Will I be eroded into the night?
It hurts.
I can feel you. But you are with someone else.
You are the right choice.
The only thing with enough truth to be real.
But you are trapped also. Trapped in a million black holes
I'm trying to pull you out,
But you slip away so much.
Oh honey,
I'll wait.
Is there anything else I can do?
The skies cry when they see me.
Broken, burned, and ripped apart.
In fact,
I'm like the clouds.
They belong to nowhere.
But never leave the sky.
I'm running around in circles.
And only you can pull me out.
SAVE ME.
I was wrong to never have chased after you.
Foolish me,
Lost in my memories I fall apart as I see all the opportunities I had.
It's like I was wrong all my life.
I want to erase it all.
Start over and have you by my side.
Yes, I was wrong. Now I can't be happy anymore.
Even the sounds tell me that I was foolish to have left you.
I only ask you,
Why?
Now tell me,
If I had been the only one
Would you have loved me?
Kissed me?
Hugged me?
Made me happy?
Never betrayed me?
Yes?
I know,
I'm dreaming.
But that's what I do to feel alive.
Don't you want to go back to the past?
Do it all again?
Say it all again?
Live it all again?
Do different choices?
And heal wounds before they were made?
Do you believe me when I say
That I would have loved you with my own life?
Oh, I should stop dreaming now.
Wake up you stupid girl.
Should I?
When I look at the moon I see all the past, done with only me and you.
The wonders. The magic. The love. The blood.
I know it's impossible now.
I know, but can we just pretend we are together and happy?
Because, in secret I wish for a world where you would be mine and I would be yours.
Just go your way,
I'll go away.
Stop dreaming,
Live in reality.
But I'm losing my mind.
And letting my heart unwind.
I'm so blind, I'm losing control.
How can you be so you.
I wish... Oh I wish...

Waiting For The Impossible

Will you come get me,
My charming black knight?
I’m still waiting you know.
And the tears that fall are my gift to you.
So I shall wait.
And forever wait.
Because the stars will never line up for me.
And my planets will never notice me.
My lips await yours.
My brain was committed to your love and affection until I saw how much it costs to be loved.
I’d have to leave my pride behind.
And probably learn how to fight.
Make up on, every day.
Pretty smile and shallow as an empty bottle.
No never, my knight will never like me like that.
He will want me as I am,
He’ll want me to never be a good lady with rules and laces around my pretty fake neck.
And as if it was magic,
He will see me as I am.
And gain my trust just like that.
Never do anything to make me cry.
Because I’m sick of tears and screams.


And I thought I was doing what was right for you.
And for me, but nonetheless
I drowned in myself in what I thought was right, and down you came with me.
Oh but everything seemed so right!
But is the right wrong?
And the wrong right?
Funny how life can be.
I thought you were a liar,
But after all,
I was the one who was lying.
Is the darkness always with me?
No matter what, I end up crying.
Yes, I’m suffering.

Crimson Ped Purple Faith Murder

I’d like to write more,
More,
More,
About things you think are hardcore.
Did I ever mention that live is just a burlesque show?
In which you pay with your life.
Crimson red purple faith murder.
And if I’m going down, then fine.
I’ll touch the crimson,
Red,
Purple,
Faith,
Your murder.
Your murder.
Because I think you’re big, and I think you’re small.
Because you are the color of a
Crimson red purple faith murder.
But more,
More,
More,
MORE!
Devil undercover, just another selfish lover.
Save my soul, but oh wait it ran away.

“Charlotte! Bring me my tea!”
And don’t forget to bring my mask of perfection because we have visits today!
Leaking sky, alive yellow stars, ice cold sun that can’t hit my skin.
Perfection is just an illusion like your eyes.
And every time I look into the sky, I see a
Crimson red purple faith murder.

No more lies! No more perfection!
You can’t save me,
But you can’t condemn me!
Oh fairy godmother little child in the moon!
Live a dream with a nightmare in the wind.
So go, go see the stars with a
Crimson red purple faith murderer.
Like you.
Sinking above me.